Many might not have known.
Happy has been put to sleep on tues, 10th may 2011.
I wrote this with a sense of guilt and sadness. Guilt that I felt it was partly my fault that she suffered and sadness that I could not be with her longer, provide her with the best and love her unconditionally.
I have blogged before that I bought her knowing fully well she is blind and crippled because the pet shop people couldn’t care less about her, providing her with a small space with just food and water, not cruel enough to be considered abusers but terrible enough to deprived her of necessities like a running wheel or any house for her to sleep in in the freezing shop.
All was well till I discovered she is diabetic and things started going downhill. Diabetic since she was young but the symptoms not known to many. There is a huge possibility happy’s mum is a sick and diabetic hamster but she was still bred to cater to pet shops for their large demand on baby hamsters.
She'd lost fur, sleeps all the time and her appetite wasn’t good..
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Soon, I noticed her fur was growing back and she was much better than before. I was elated!
No, she's just sleeping soundly in this picture.
But one day, two weeks ago, bro called me while I was in school. He said happy’s eyes appeared to be in pain and she look like she’s not gonna make it. I cancelled fyp meeting to rush home. But she was…. Alright.
“I thought u said she’s going to die?” I asked bro.
“she wasn’t like this before you came back.”
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I don’t know what to make of this. Was she trying to mask her illness to prevent me from getting worried? Idk, but I kept a vigil watch by her side the entire night, she slept next to me, never showed me any signs of sickness again.
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Fast forward to mother’s day 2011 that weekend. I was out from fri to sun. When I came back home sunday, realised her food and water level remains the same since Friday. Got me worried, I looked for her and found her at a corner. There were blood near and in her eyes, she couldn’t open them. WTF? I was worried sick. She appeared to have not eaten or drank for the past 3 days?! This is serious for any hamsters.
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She got worse
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She was painfully skinny and weak, you could see her wobbling her way through the tank. When I put my hand on the tank, she walked weakly over to me. I broke down. What happened this weekend? It was too sudden, I don’t know what to do.
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I made plans to bring her to the vet but it was a public holiday the next day, polling day holi. She has grown so much weaker that she laid at a corner, taking large laboured breaths, unable to walk. She worsened within a day so much, it terrified me the thought she might stop breathing right in front of me.
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Next day, I took her to the pet shop I bought her from. They told me to just leave happy as she is because “she is not going to make it any longer” or syringe feed her water, put sunflower seeds near her but this could only prolong her life. They also said happy is very very old and weak already. But they were the very same people who told me happy was 6 months old, 6 months ago. Meaning happy should only be nearing one year old now. They told me a lie. Anyway, I asked them what the other alternatives are. They suggested bringing Happy to a vet to get medication to cure her.
“She can still be saved?” was my question.
“No. They would actually suggest you put the hamster down.”
Once again they told me lies.
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I sat outside the pet shop for a very long time. Probably an hour or two. Deep down I know it is best to put Happy down, free from pain and sufferings. But then again, as I looked down at the cage beside me, Happy was trying to get up to my side. But she was too weak, she ended up raising her neck and falling back down altogether. Should I put down a hamster, who is trying so hard to live? Wouldn’t I be robbing her chance to live? But even if she managed to survived, it will only be a couple of days before she died naturally.
You see, by then she was lying on her side, unable to move, stiff legs, accelerated heart beat and bloodied eyes. She literally looked like crap. I couldn’t bear to look at her.
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I decided to consult the vet and asked if it is a good choice to put Happy down. While I sat outside Lot One waiting, a lot of people were looking at me, or rather the bright orange cage beside me. An aunty actually came over and asked where is the hamster.
“Under the tissue. She is resting”
I wasn’t in the mood to entertain curious people. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone.
Not long after, a cheena woman sat beside me and asked me about my hamster(again.)
I just smile weakly and tell her it’s a hamster
Again, another aunty came and took the cheena’s place, asked me about Happy and said her grandson has a hamster too. It was very old, over 2 years old and losing a lot of fur, bla bla bla, i was losing interest.
I told her my hamster is dying, I’m going to a vet to put her down.
“Don’t want la!!!! Why make it die!!!! Let it live mah!!!!Aiyo, so cruel leh u!!!!”
It pains all pet owners to put their own pet to sleep so shut up if you don’t know anything. I’m going through a rough time and I honestly cant be bothered what shit crap you are telling me. You think I don’t want my hamster to be alive and happy?!
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Let’s not talk about her. It irks me.
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.We took a bus down to sunshine place, joyous vet. In the bus, I cried again. I’m not ready to lose her, my Happy.
“Are you sure you want to put her down?” the vet asked.
She said Happy will die even if she is not put to sleep today. Her frail body, stiff legs, bloodied eyes were obvious reasons enough.
“Even if you don’t put her to sleep, she will suffocate to death because her nose is having problems.”
I’ve always known she has trouble breathing but I couldn’t decide if it was her lungs or nose but having a vet to confirm it was her nose, at least I now know.
At this point, she’s suffering so much, it’s pointless to let her live for two more days, suffering, having countless seizures before she die.
The vet inject something to put her to sleep first, no not the euthanasia, she is still alive but only breathing. Then she would inject the euthanasia chemical.
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“what was happy’s reaction?” I asked
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“she struggled”
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I broke down again. She tried to resist her death. She tried to live a while longer. I killed her. I killed her……
I want nothing more than to bring her home now.
My Happy had left.
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For days I left her tank, full of food, water and toys as it is. Somehow, I find it comforting to see the tank when I wake up in the morning. But I felt sadder when I tried to search for her, see which hideout she is sleeping in and realized, she left me days ago. I can’t accept that such a good hamster who never gnaw cage bars, bite her toys or seek attention has such a terrible fate. I sold her toys in the hamster forum and they were all in brand new condition, many people were interested. I hope she will reincarnate and not be a hamster anymore. Maybe a pretty butterfly or a rainbow. Come back to me and let me know you are ok.
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People, please listen to me. Never buy from pet shops, they do not care about the well being of the animals. They just want to bred as many and sell as many as possible REGARDLESS OF HEALTH ISSUES. Your pet might be healthy now but what about 2 years later? When your once healthy pet is suddenly plagued by strange illnesses you never knew would be brought upon your “healthy” pet. You will never know the mother of your pet or the health problems she faces.
Happy is a poor victim of such breedings. I shudder to think what happen to her mother or what would happen to Happy if I did not bought her then. Happy has been bred without any care or concern on her well being or health.
All the pet shop people could think of is “ wah, yellow blue pudding breed, can sell high price, best if owner buy cage, food, bedding, water bottle and toys from me as well! That would be 100 over dollars!”
And who else but Happy herself, a poor innocent hamster, is left to suffer the consequences of those heartless breeders and pet shop people. Plagued with tons of illnesses and being put to sleep at the age of less than 1 year old.
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My happy did not survive past her first birthday. I was heartbroken realising that.
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Happy, I want you to know that despite all the sickness that you have, I think you are the most awesome and strongest hamster I’ve even known. You are the one I truly love and care for. You are not unwanted in that pet shop.
I hope you will be happy in hamsterville with no sickness or pain, endless sunflower seeds and make friends with yippee and hooray, my two gerbils.
♥
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